Reddit aita for not going to my ungrateful daughters wedding. My son, Alan (26M) has just recently gotten married to Helen (25-26F). She posted it thinking she was right and found out the exact opposite and now has a thorn in her ass. No bridesmaid no groomsmen. Right now, the fund has about $180,000. starbuckbuckbuck. AITA for not contributing to my daughter’s wedding. I called her an ungrateful, selfish brat. My daughter eloped and is doing a BBQ event to celebrate. mentally_messy102518. A woman who insists my daughter is “ungrateful” because she doesn’t grovel on her knees thanking her SM for existing in her life and doing basic things like cooking a meal and paying rent. Not even my favorites. This Thanksgiving is the first time we’re able to be public about our relationship because my girlfriend comes from a wealthy family with political ties in a different country, and even though she he This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. My daughter is extremely bright, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom. You should attempt to give financial gifts equally and that includes weddings. You don't have to listen to her. 8K comments. Her ex-husband was Indian and my step-daughter is Indian. Zoey's younger than Lauren. So far my relationship with Sammie was ok but I noticed she has a habit if buying clothes Commented this elsewhere earlier but also the point here is really not whether he was the AH or not, he missed his daughter's wedding and she is heartbroken (understandably) He needs to not worry about whether he was morally right or not (I mean horrible choice to have to make and very much a rock and a hard place) because he needs to accept Circumstances change. She doesn't work so can do a midweek wedding. 1K votes, 1. If your daughter won't compromise, try to offer her what money you are willing to provide if you still want to do so, and don't get pressured into going into debt for a dress that will only ever be worn one time. The answer is yes it does. My sister (27f) is getting married October, she and I (25f) were really close. Establish the amount of $$ you are willing to provide and give her the budget. Just cause Rose is living beyond her means doesn’t mean she needs more assistance. My best friend Diane has a daughter (18F, Lori) and she has been worried because Lori has no friends. Now all day, Lena's mom has been freaking out on Facebook about how her "ungrateful daughter" didn't even invite her to go dress shopping. Anyway since I'm paying for a 200k wedding, I just asked for my mother and her 2 step siblings to receive invitations since they are her siblings, my fiancée and daughter were like cool we will, now obviously this could be a mistake but invitations come around, my step daughter informed me that she didn't want any children at her wedding, but My late husband (my daughter's father) died when my daughter was 6, we both contributed to her college fund. I had always hoped they would grow out of it, but it just never happened. I was devastated. If your brother needs money, he can get a job and/or work more hours. I 27m have been dating my girlfriend “Diana” for 3 years. I (55M) have a daughter (29F) who is getting married next year. Then put the phone down or leave the room. I’m not sure if I’m feeling the way I should be. NTA - it's plain to see OP's youngest initiated contact with her parents to get her wedding paid for. The wedding was on march 25, which coincides with my other daughters birthday. YTA. Key-Summer-3970. Would OP then not be upset they can’t use the wedding fund for THAT daughter on something for that daughter. Everything was going fine until she told me it was a child free wedding. I simply responded with "Get a lawyer and tell that ungrateful thing of yours to start calling Daniel her AITA for making my daughters take my friend's daughter on their trip? My (46F) twin daughters (21F, Tori and Tami) are both in college and they are planning to do a two weeks trip to Italy. Ive cancelled my ex daughters private school tuitions, all her extracurricular activities and I've contacted a divorce Lawyer. She always wanted a nice snow wedding in the cabins we used to go to when we were in school. A place where it's obvious OP is the asshole. Except for her sister and brother who live in the same city as us, the rest of her family is in Asia. I was given one for helping others in school and acting as a mentor of sorts. All that to say, I can not imagine behaving so entitled to the person I am depending on for rides. AITA for not going to my daughter BBQ wedding celebration. Husband and I have two daughters, Erika 23F & Sarah 25F. I was informed that it is at the end of the month. Actually if this is the reason he paid for his daughters and not his sons, I would’ve said he’s an asshole. My wife's family is Indian. You are not a selfish or ungrateful person. While, I am sufficiently wealthy, it is still not something that will not go easy on my bank-account. Much to my disappointment, they've never gotten along - even as kids, they were always fighting. Your daughter had a reasonable expectation, you had agreed to keep the 20k for her wedding. I added that she’s old enough to see all the sacrifices we’re making. Please AITA I can’t tell if I am the The wedding was on march 25, which coincides with my other daughters birthday. Secondly, I assume since living together you're at least 18 which means you're adults, if you guys don't want to see the exact things the whole time you can split up and go see who you want and meet back up for mutual bands. It’s my damn one year wedding anniversary! My family is upset that they would do that to piss me off for not allowing them to get engaged during my reception. That tradition is antiquated to give a large sum of money to only your daughter to get their life started. My son has always loved design and fashion, he took technical courses in these areas and sewing, and even his friends keep asking for his clothes because they are so beautiful. Yea they can do a little mock wedding at home. She's 23. In light of the changes and the compromise, it's clear that I was not the AH for my initial decision. In life, people disagree - even strongly - it's a natural part of life. I now have to rely on rides because no way can I afford a vehicle while fighting for disability. You might “respect same sex couples” but you sure as hell don’t respect your daughter. Now, that would be fine with my wife and I because we would just drop of my son and daughter at my wife's A few years later I met my beautiful wife and her daughter who at the time was 3 years old needless to say she is my daughter and treat her as if she too was biologically mine. Reply reply. Let your mother screech. I truly believe she has the capacity to honeymooneraita. Kate has two daughters from her previous marriage, “Selena” (29F) and “Amy” (25F). I can personally tell you it's a red flag that never gets better for the I also put my foot down and told her, as a 17-year old girl, she is still a child and doesn’t have the right to make decisions. My daughter didn’t accept the divorce well. Should've paid attention to what your money was being spent on and 2. While I agree that amount is ridiculous and you are in the right for no longer paying for the wedding/honey moon, you 1. Sure, they had fancier weddings, that's because they worked for it and could afford it. Leave a card at the gift table signed: ╭∩╮ (･ ･)╭∩╮. I scheduled to visit my daughter in prison for her birthday and prior I told my niece that I could only make it to the church wedding but not the reception and paying for the meal there, I'd be going after the wedding. I (m50) have a daughter “Kris” (f27) from my previous marriage. Jennifer is mad at me b/c I'm going to Hayleigh's wedding. Bio Daughter’s Dad and I relationship did not end on good terms and while I tried my best to keep the children out of it, he did not agree and in an attempt to get the kids to side with him, he went on a smear campaign against me. But based on her reaction, it sounds like you would’ve found out that she really wanted to be there, had you asked her. and for her to make that decision without your input, regarding your money, and then call you ungrateful is unfair. You should be grateful you have the opportunity to yeet your way out of this family before converting from fiancee to husband. We both have to deal with similar issues regarding having to care for my (22F) sister with no outside help. ago. It's not her wedding. EDIT: I had asked her for $600 and spent around 15-20k for her treatment. I get that it’s the day the bride and groom met, and had the baby survived I (as a parent) would have chosen a different day to celebrate my child’s first birthday. Parents should not expect overt gratitude for being parents and AITA usually agrees with that stance… unless it’s a step-daughter having confused You don't have an obligation to invite your friends to your daughters wedding. I am now married to my wife (f45) and have a son (5). MOD. Kris and I use to be very close but as she has gotten older I feel like we drifted apart. •. My wife (not my eldest daughters mother) has been wanting to celebrate our daughter’s life on the date of her birth. We went dress shopping yesterday. • 8 mo. YTA, if this is true which I doubt it is, your daughter needs a new family. My sister's wedding was last week. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. She wanted to leave around end of April initially. We have 2 daughters: Elizabeth is 21 and Jordyn is 18. If you don't attend her wedding, it'll cause irreparable damage to your relationship with your daughter, and at some point you'll regret it. My wife hasn't seen her family in about 2 years as well. Especially on any special occasion, let alone a wedding. The reason they gave is also a very lousy one, I think your reason for choosing your date makes much more sense. She wanted to plan a trip to visit them with the baby. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place…. ADMIN MOD. He often takes out his bad moods on me and openly admits to doing so. 3RD EDIT: My wife has been an amazing mother to both our boys and our girl. Read this before contacting the mod team. He’s been with his fiancée (DIL) since they were 20 and he wants to marry her. So her wedding dress size reflects that. When we first got the invite he told me that he wasn't going, that he will stay for the kids and suggested I do the same. UPDATE: For all the YTA people out there, I've decided to give my daughter a gift in the same amount as her older sister's Hi all! I have a son (John, 28M) and daughter (Rita, 31F) and both are on OK terms with each other. Her wedding is going to have probably around 400-600 people. But we're very respectful towards each other. My (29 M) sister Ashley (27 F) had her wedding yesterday, but I didn't attend it. Oh well, she had to pay for her prom dress. None of her friends had helped, and neither did any of our other relatives. Crypto AITA-throw-wedding. Basically she can't be bothered and wants to know if not being bothered to support your sister at her wedding makes her an arsehole. A wedding is a sacred commitment, including God or not, between two people who want to spend their lives together. My other daughter is one of her closest friends and was one of the bridesmaids. AITA for calling my daughter an ungrateful, selfish brat? My husband and I were never fabulously wealthy but we were comfortable. You put money aside for a wedding. I've basically been drinking myself to sleep everyday. When the wedding was called off & we found that it was b/c Sam & Hayleigh were I’m beyond pissed and so not planning to go. Both took pictures and put them on their social media, as did I. Since the wedding doesn't allow kids and my husband doesn't want to hire a babysitter after the one we had robbed us. This is nothing but a farce. Adorable-Crew-Cut-92. I have been in their lives since Sarah was 2. I’ve decided on not going, not because I don’t want to, but because i’ve already have some things planned the week and day of. Reading your comments OP it's an unreasonable expectation for you to have to pay 10k on a dress if you don't have the money. AITA for not attending my step daughter’s wedding? Not the A-hole. People cross-post stories for a chance that our podcast hosts (Sean, John and Josh) will read the story on the show. It would bring down the mood and OOP would be blamed for ruining the wedding. I’ve (26 M) been with my girlfriend (26 F) for 4 years and we’ve recently been talking more and more about marriage. I was an involved dad when she was young and we were close. We live hours away which is an issue for my husband. She's not even the asshole for not going to her sister's wedding. Also, you should consider getting into therapy to deal with your grief. I know she had the money because she'd recently got a job that was high enough and she would have been able to pay me. My husband worked for a top company and I had my own business. My condolences about your brother. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. TheyTA. The issue started when Zoey visited to talk about her wedding in april. My sister (31F) Stephanie was our parents’ golden child while me (28F) and my other sister (33F) Emily were always an afterthought. Going to her dress fitting of course we talk about her wedding such as theme, food , family , etc . Likewise, there is zero chance of us refusing to go to the wedding or cutting her out of the will. I will try to keep this short and to the point. On that same day it was my niece's wedding. Son invited himself, then dragged along his wife, who's always rude af. OP please get your daughter a therapist, not because it sounds like she needs therapy. If I didn't feel so strongly about the dress I would give it to her simply to spite them. She was barely 3 months when she passed away. Shortly after moving, my sisters first husband cheated and divorced her, leaving her and her two sons with nothing. 16M subscribers in the AmItheAsshole community. It’s relevant to mention that I really dislike parties and large gatherings, I’m not sociable at all and I really just dislike them. My wife and Lisa have been blowing up my phone non stop with apologies. The only relevant people to this story are my bio daughter Emily and Lora my step daughter I’ve been in my step daughters life since she was 6 years old I see her as a daughter I swore I’d never be like my step father and treat a child differently because of something silly like dna, emliy hates Lora and has turned her brothers against her NTA, first off they were for your bday, not his. Throwaway-8841. But everything you have contributed for the wedding alone is BEYOND generous. OOP: I am not homophobic. Sarah's mom Kate was a drug addict, when Sarah was 3 she lost all her parental rights because of her addiction. My daughter's paternal grandparents have also contributed a large amount. Make sure to tell her if that includes travel, etc for the bridal couple and family members. We have had agreements with all of our kids that we would help pay for up to $10K for their weddings, or use that same amount towards a down payment on their first home. Original (16 Jan 23) AITA for skipping my stepdaughter's wedding? I (50f) have 2 step-children, Sarah (23f) and Mike (28m). OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I feel like I may be ungrateful, and that I’m being childish and petty. The wedding was being paid for our parents and the groom's. We have a daughter “Lynn” (12F) together. I invited Lena and one of my nieces, Callie [16] to be my MOH and a bridesmaid respectively. Not a straight wedding. It is not theirs; it is not for them to determine how it is to be spent. AITA For not paying for my daughter's honeymoon after she canceled her wedding. The biggest caveat is that they must be married in Jon's family's church, full mass with communion. My high school did an award ceremony in May to celebrate students who help make the school better. We lost our Mum in 2012 and our Dad in 2016. AITA for skipping my daughter’s wedding. My younger daughter (Hayleigh, 28f) is marrying my older daughter (Jennifer, 30f)'s ex-fiancé (Sam). We're not very close and distance is one of the reasons why. Dry-Body-7578. I also didn’t feel it appropriate to leave my wife on this day since The reason I’m upset is because I’ve spent so much time specifically trying to give her a soft landing into the world of finance. A few minutes later my wife and daughter come out and are really upset. Smile sweetly and tell them that they are made for each other… for being trash having an affair and abandoning his terminally ill wife. Kind of like having a normal meter who isn't involved in the family dynamics. 4. She is loving and We hold a little get to know you BBQ at the PA house, my son and daughter are there, as are our sons fiancé and her parents, and sisters. My late wife was a very small person, when we got married she was only 115 pounds. She passed away two years ago so she will can not attend our daughters wedding that will be in 2025. Start off sappy talking about growing up with your dad and then he met fiancé. Stand up for yourself. Either way, regardless of the real reason, I’m still His parents are paying about 60% of the wedding. I am 48F and my eldest is 22M. But because she really needs a 3rd party to tell about these incidents as a sounding board. OTOH, medical school and residency are going to turn her hair white from stress! Not saying that my industry isn’t stressful, but I don’t want my daughter to have the weight of human lives on her shoulders. Tell her she has communicated how she feels and the decision has been made. But since the child didn’t survive I don’t blame OOP for not going. Don’t be surprised when she moves out and stops talking to you. You show no attempt at understanding your child, her feelings or situation. For context, we both live in and go to medical school in the USA. For context my aunt is having a small wedding of 67 people . You agreed to keep it for her wedding, did you say at the time only if you marry someone of the opposite gender no. g. I (46M) have been married to “Kate” (48F) for over a decade. In my opinion, it is not your obligation to pay a cent if you don’t want to. I have gotten direct messages telling me that I am right not to give my daughter the dress because they are homophobic and think she should not be getting married. Sounds like expense to be there didn’t matter to her. AITA for not passing on an “heirloom” to my daughter in law? Not the A-hole. Im not in the same house with her as of right now she told me she didn’t want me in her house as she was done with me and she didn’t know what else to do with me so she preferred that I leave with my grandparent but I had too much guilt in my to move in with them that I am currently staying at my bf. You have no problems with same sex couples so long as you're not related to them. My (42F) ex husband (45M) and I were together for 20 years. He agreed, but said that he needed time and that he would need her opinion constantly. Lol I also get seriously bad migraines. Most assholes don’t like being called out for their bullshit. Not sure why, but no one in the family can stand her and every time she opens her mouth, she's rude or complaining or criticizing. Before the podcast started reading reddit stories, the hosts would choose a topic and research it using Wikipedia. We don't end life-long relationships over it. I find out that shes having a small wedding and not even our family from the east coast is coming . But when she was in her teens I cheated on her mother. Asshole. My wife and I have 3 kids (36M, 32F, & 25F). The family is on board because this is going to be a very big wedding. After our daughter was born, my wife's family has not had the chance to see her. Tell her anything above that is on her and her fiance. You and your wife should write her a message/letter. This subreddit is for a podcast called Reddit On Wiki, that reads reddit stories. We are each… Then at the wedding make a speech. During this dinner, my sister asked my son (17m) to make her wedding dress. 1. I (F31) have a brother (M29) and he is getting married next year. The issue is that she chose to have this near her husbands family that is on the other side of Asshole. Oh well, she can’t go on a trip. That your decision to not fund the wedding has nothing to do with the gender of her fiance. I’d always liked her before now, she’s a smart girl, she fits in well with the family, she’s driven, and she makes my son happy. AITA for not attending Bio daughters wedding because Her step sister was not invited. I am paying everything as a birthday gift. 1K comments. You will determine how your money will be spent. They can also just invite the people Anna is comfortable talking around to so it's comfortable for her and she can actually enjoy it. If you can sink 200k on a wedding for your step daughter, you are worth so much more than this BS. Which I feel bad for doing in the mist of an argument. So let me start of by saying I had every intention of going to this wedding this weekend. Demanding that the wedding be child free and then selectively posting (shit stirring) on Facebook, especially when her sister appears to have been very gracious about it, brings her so far into asshole territory that she'd need a colonoscopy to get any further in. She says that, "I'm condoning her bad sister's behavior as always", but that's simply not true. It's probably not too late to recoup some of your 200k too. Two years or so ago, when she was going through medical depression and required treatment, I had helped her. No, I didn't say that I had cured her per se. Ever since my husband away, nearly a decade ago, Rita has stepped up and taken care of all of us, financially. Sounds like your parents want you to have a totally normal wedding and include your sister, while ignoring her limitations. My wife then overbooked the Top Golf reservation, and with all the food, and tip, it came to $550. your mom went and made a deal without your knowledge concerning your money (for the repairs) and not an insignificant amount of money either at $5K all said and done (you don't say what the amount for repairs was specifically). Business, Economics, and Finance. I said this isn’t how we raised her. We were privileged enough to give our kids little extras here and there. No. As a father, no way I would act like that. We got a divorce 5 years ago due to infidelity on his part. AITA for not wanting to get my girlfriend an “expensive” engagement ring. Originally I was going to help my son in his girlfriend Sammie 19 for their wedding giving them money because both work at a restaurant for minimum wage. My daughter (T)(from my first marriage is getting married soon and my other daughter (G)(from my second marriage) is getting married a day after. . Tell her the truth. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. Lilly or her hubby could have a serious medical issue come up and their financial situation change drastically. It is hers! You want to invite someone to a wedding then go renew your own vows. So close, she moved out to the state I was living. Im beyond hurt. Not the A-hole. We all seem to be getting along well, my wife, daughter and the fiancé go into the house along with her mother an sisters and my son. Ava's school play was on the same day and both of my parents chose to go to the school play instead of the award ceremony. If she leaves to her father’s, I will call the cops. He was the love of my life and he betrayed all of the trust and loyalty we had built up. 6K comments. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. I was happy to pay, and let her and my son AITA for telling my future DIL I’m not giving her money for her wedding anymore? Not the A-hole. this subreddit is for a podcast called reddit on wiki, that reads reddit stories. Two years ago Selena got married and although I was Obv written by the 15 year old. Although my GF grew up relatively well off, for the time I’ve known her she’s been pretty low maintenance. While he didn’t AITA for not apologising to my dad for being “ungrateful” and “selfish”? I (18M) and my dad (46M) have a strained relationship. We had a beautiful daughter together, Joceline (14F). You were non-existent in her life for years. 9. She was born March 25, 2022. I was just involved in her dress fitting. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. She didn't have the money and I was the one who paid everything for her, etc. To make matters worse, he ended up in a relationship with the In case this story gets deleted/removed: AITA for refusing to choose between my daughters. People cross-post stories for a chance that our podcast hosts will read the story on the show. 2ND EDIT: I want to also clarify that this is going to be far from a minor financial inconvenience. YTA 100% just the way you describe your daughter is so hateful. E. I love them both very much. You don't get a say on if your step daughter wants to invite her bio dad to her wedding. So it was kind of a downer when I heard that Alan and Helen were going to have a wedding with around It kinda sounds like you assumed that because she didn’t expressly ask to go, that it would be fine to go without her. NTA, you and your partner should decide when to get married. She will live, she will be fine, she will go out with a million frogs way before she ever finds her prince, and when she's ready she will have her wedding. Let alone my siblings wedding. Now enough backstory. YTA, and you're homophobic. Defend yourself against this manipulation to steal your money. Telling her that you love her and that you're happy for her. Of yourself they're not wrong to ask, but they're wrong to insist and get angry when you don't comply. Thanks to the saint of a mother i have, my son is being taken care of right now. The sister has given her five months notice which is plenty of time to work out arrangements. I support my daughter, I have just been surprised and am struggling. I am so sick of her ungracious attitude that I am considering using her savings account from her grandparent’s gifts toward Faith’s wedding. We were talking about wedding dresses and she suddenly brought up Lauren's wedding dress. My sister is getting married next month to my best friend. Her dad is working 50 hour week, myself about the same. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. My cousin says they chose to get married on their one year engagement anniversary. Step kids (USUALLY) have two living parents who pay out the butt to “share” them. 9K votes, 5. And it's ridiculous that she would expect a 30k wedding to be paid by OP when he offered his other two 5k each. true. If she wants a blow out wedding, she can pay for it. If she wanted her kids to be together, she had plenty of opportunities to make sure you were included and chose not to! 18K votes, 2. NTA. Our parents are paying 30% Stella and Jon paying for the rest themselves. r/AmItheAsshole. He´s going to serve my wife this Friday. But explain that you paid for the last wedding and that your feelings was hurt by her actions. All the stress collected in me. The wedding is 2 weeks from now. ih ox eo vh tq yj no fp oz cx